Decoding Faces: Enhancing People Skills in the Age of AI With Brian Galke
Welcome to The Success Code w/ Ben Silverman, hosted by entrepreneur, founder, Mr. USA, National Taekwondo Champion, and content creator Benjamin Silverman. The principal focus of today’s discussion revolves around the methodologies and experiences that have contributed to remarkable success in the realm of recruitment, particularly within the software sales sector. Today's discussion revolves around the transformative power of communication skills, particularly in the context of business and personal growth. Brian Galky shares his unique journey from corporate America to becoming a tactical speaker and expert in decoding facial expressions and body language.
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The salient point of We delve into the significance of understanding interpersonal dynamics and the role of emotional intelligence in establishing meaningful connections. With insights drawn from my experiences and the teachings of renowned figures in negotiation and communication, I elucidate how these skills are essential in navigating the complexities of modern professional environments, especially as we face the rise of automation. Ultimately, we aspire to empower listeners with practical strategies that foster effective communication, thereby enhancing their personal and professional relationships.
Takeaways:
- The podcast delves into the intricacies of communication, focusing on the significance of understanding facial features and body language in interpersonal interactions.
- Listeners are encouraged to adopt proactive communication strategies that prioritize the needs and perspectives of others over self-promotion.
- Brian Galky shares his transformative journey from corporate America to becoming a tactical speaker, emphasizing the importance of continuous learning and adaptation in professional life.
- The discussion highlights the influence of AI on communication skills, asserting that emotional intelligence and relationship-building will become increasingly essential in the future workforce.
- The episode also underscores the necessity of personalizing communication styles to align with the auditory, visual, or kinesthetic preferences of the audience.
- Brian emphasizes the value of in-person interactions over electronic communication, advocating for a return to face-to-face conversations to foster genuine connections.
Links referenced in this episode:
Transcript
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Speaker B:Guys, welcome to the Success Code, the podcast where we crack the secrets to achieving greatness in business and in life.
Speaker B:Join us as we dive into the strategies, habits and pivotal moments that have helped some of the world's most successful entrepreneurs and leaders, at least by our standards, to reach the top.
Speaker B:Whether you're scaling your business, chasing your dreams, or just building your legacy, we hope that this will be your playbook for unstoppable growth.
Speaker B:Today's episode is brought to you by Peak Performance Fitness, the ultimate transformation program for busy businessmen, leaders and entrepreneurs.
Speaker B:If you're looking to unlock peak energy, master your nutrition, and build a body that matches your ambition, then we have got the stuff for you.
Speaker B:This program was created for high achievers who want to succeed not just in business, but life.
Speaker B:What that means is no fad diets, no endless hours in the gym, just proven science based strategies designed to fit your lifestyle that deliver results that last.
Speaker B:If you're interested, visit ThePeakPerformance.org today to take a step towards your ultimate transformation.
Speaker B:Because we believe true success starts with you.
Speaker B:Now today we have a really cool guest.
Speaker B:Let's see.
Speaker B:I know you've.
Speaker B:You.
Speaker B:You shared how to pronounce your name.
Speaker B:Brian Gke.
Speaker A:Yeah, I was so close.
Speaker A:Don't worry about it.
Speaker A:Nobody gets it right.
Speaker A:That's why I like try to put in the phonetics for it and still doesn't happen.
Speaker B:I'm trying to think how would I, how would I write Gal?
Speaker B:I don't know.
Speaker A:So I have an icon of a woman holding a key.
Speaker A:Galky.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:That works.
Speaker B:That probably is more easier to understand than English.
Speaker B:But then again, no one really could should judge pronounceability by my English because I haven't really spoken it for the past 18 years.
Speaker B:But anyway, Brian is the decoding detective and an expert in communication and a dynamic speaker.
Speaker B:Um, and instead of me butchering his introduction, Brian, I'd love to have you tell us a little bit about who you are and what you do.
Speaker A:Sure.
Speaker A:I'm Brian Galkey.
Speaker A:I'm out of Dallas, Texas.
Speaker A:I'm a father, I'm a speaker, and I'm not a motivational speaker.
Speaker A:I'm a tactical speaker.
Speaker A: And what I mean by that is in: Speaker A:And his name was Mac Fulfer.
Speaker A:He was an attorney who had learned how to decode faces for jury consulting.
Speaker A:And it was all through fluke circumstances that he learned it.
Speaker A:He read a book about it in a hotel when he went to go skiing, he hurt his knee.
Speaker A:He came back, started looking and found all these different books on it.
Speaker A:And it's based on something known as physiognomy.
Speaker A:And he started practicing it.
Speaker A:He ended up writing a book probably about 20 years ago.
Speaker A:And he ended up walking away from his law practice to teach this all around the world.
Speaker A:And I happened to meet him.
Speaker A:I actually went to go prove he was a fraud because a friend came into town, she said, hey, let's go to dinner.
Speaker A:I go show up to the restaurant.
Speaker A:She's like, I'm not gonna make it, but you need to come over here and meet this keynote speaker.
Speaker A:I'm like, why do I need to meet this guy?
Speaker A:She goes, cause he refaces.
Speaker A:And I go, yeah, it's a bunch of crap.
Speaker A:And so since this guy ruined my dinner plans, I went, but I was gonna go prove he was a fraud.
Speaker A:And so he sat a bunch of us down, and I'm waiting for him to say these, like, generic statements like, oh, you've had a hard time in life, you know, or you know somebody whose name starts with pick any letter.
Speaker A:But instead, each person, he just kind of went top to bottom and like, this is what your face says about you.
Speaker A:And I was like, ooh.
Speaker A:And they got to me.
Speaker A:And I'm like, this guy's been digging through my trash.
Speaker A:And it just blew me away.
Speaker A:So I bought his book, and then I bought flashcards, and I just started studying it and using it.
Speaker A:And I was in corporate America.
Speaker A:I was selling technology to jails and prisons.
Speaker A:And I was kind of an introvert.
Speaker A:I was on the help desk.
Speaker A:Why?
Speaker A:Because everybody has to come to you.
Speaker A:But I would always read books on body language.
Speaker A:Everything else.
Speaker A:Like, I don't think everybody can see my bookshelf, but I always keep Janine Driver's book here.
Speaker A:I've got other body language books, statement analysis, you name it.
Speaker A:Because communication didn't come naturally for me.
Speaker A:Yes, I had friends, yes, I had family.
Speaker A:But I always felt like I missed that day at school where they taught you how to just become friends with people.
Speaker A:So I've always been studying people.
Speaker A:And while I liked body language and everything, it's a reactive skill.
Speaker A:But when I saw this, I saw the power in the fact that it's proactive, Meaning before you go meet with anybody, you can go look em up on LinkedIn social media, and you start making the presentation or the conversation about the person and not you or your product.
Speaker A:And when you do that, it changes, especially if you're an introvert.
Speaker A:When I'm thinking about you, I'm not thinking about me because this is where introverts live a majority of the time.
Speaker A:But by learning to focus on others, you get out of the prison of your own mind and into the present moment.
Speaker A:And it just changed my entire life.
Speaker A:That's crazy.
Speaker B:So you mentioned a second ago that you did a talk with Chris.
Speaker B:Never split the difference.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:Let me ask you, who's the most interesting person that you've done a talk with?
Speaker A:Well, it's, it's hard to say because everybody's got a different dynamic and personality.
Speaker A:Pardon me one second.
Speaker A:Don't know why I'm losing my voice this morning.
Speaker B:Because it's Monday.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:The first, totally off topic, but the first 10 conversations I have, any week, always my voice.
Speaker B:Like there's like a warming up period on Monday.
Speaker A:Yeah, I don't know why.
Speaker A:Sorry about that.
Speaker A:Well, let's go with Chris Voss since we were talking about him first.
Speaker A:And I'll talk to you about some other people also.
Speaker A:So Chris Voss was speaking a different day than I was.
Speaker A:But when I found out he was in the green room, I just walked back there and I went back to go completely fanboy the guy, you know, because I love his book.
Speaker A:I think it's fantastic.
Speaker A:We sat down and it was just him and I in the green room and I started on this couch over here and then I said, hey, Chris.
Speaker A:And we end up talking for about 30 minutes.
Speaker A:And the thing about it was I wanted to talk about his book and everything.
Speaker A:And he said, you know, my book is good, it's my stories.
Speaker A:But you also need to go pick up books like the 48 Laws of Power.
Speaker A:He goes.
Speaker A:Because those are reversed engineered books to understand how things are done.
Speaker A:So rather than making it all about him, he was giving me additional resources to go and pick up a really nice guy.
Speaker A:It's one of those things I hang out with body language experts too, where I'm always like, what do I do?
Speaker A:What I, you know, when I'm around body language experts with him, I was like, oh, what do I say?
Speaker A:What am I doing?
Speaker A:But really nice guy, he gave an amazing talk that day.
Speaker A:And the speakers are kind of a weird crew.
Speaker A:Some people like my, my former coach Steve Sims.
Speaker A:And we're still, he's, I'm still in his mastermind, but he was my one on one coach for a very long time.
Speaker A:When I started getting speaking, Steve will have in his AirPods and he's listening to music and don't talk to him before he goes on stage.
Speaker A:Other people are, yeah, come and talk to me.
Speaker A:You know, it just helps me get my voice warmed up.
Speaker A:You name it.
Speaker A:And I didn't know what Chris was going to be like, but that's how he was.
Speaker A: en I first got the book is in: Speaker A:And I was trying to convince my company to pay for me to go because I thought the book was so good.
Speaker A:And they did, but I was working from home.
Speaker A:He had an event here in Dallas when I found out where the event was.
Speaker A:And on my lunch break, I snuck over to the hotel.
Speaker A:I waited for them to go on a coffee break.
Speaker A:I walked in, had him sign my book, and then he.
Speaker A:And take a picture, and he goes, I don't remember seeing you in class.
Speaker A:I'm like, that's because I wasn't.
Speaker A:You know.
Speaker A:And so I actually showed him that picture when we spoke last January.
Speaker B:No kidding.
Speaker B:So I'm.
Speaker B:I'm.
Speaker B:I'm.
Speaker B:I'm curious and I'm jumping all over the place because you have a very.
Speaker A:Best way to go.
Speaker B:You mentioned that you started out as working the help desk, Right.
Speaker B:For sales of technology to prisons.
Speaker B:How did you go?
Speaker B:Yeah, how did you go from that to being a speaker?
Speaker A:Um, so I started learning the different skills.
Speaker A:I wasn't telling anybody what I was doing, hence the name of the company.
Speaker A:Subtle skills.
Speaker A:I was always picking up books, trying to understand customers better because you go in and people who work in law enforcement are very stoic because they have to be.
Speaker A:And so, like, body language kind of didn't really help.
Speaker A:Cause they had very rigid body language.
Speaker A:But I would always pick up different books.
Speaker A:It started with on help desk, I didn't like sitting.
Speaker A:I.
Speaker A:I'm a mover.
Speaker A:I like to do things.
Speaker A:Matter of fact, I have a standup desk here.
Speaker A:I very rarely sit.
Speaker A:So I didn't like the help desk for that perspective of it.
Speaker A:So then I learned how to build the equipment.
Speaker A:Then I learned how to install it.
Speaker A:So I'm talking about walking past inmates with my tools.
Speaker A:I'm thinking, I'm not.
Speaker A:I don't want to get stabbed with my own screwdriver.
Speaker A:So I'm holding onto it for dear life.
Speaker B:Terrifying.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:You know, and there's a lot of very, very nice people in prison that just made the same bad decisions we all do.
Speaker A:They just got caught and.
Speaker A:But you never know.
Speaker A:So I'm just walking past people.
Speaker A:But that's where I had to learn kind of things like situational awareness because you can't have your tools taken or anything like that.
Speaker A:So situational awareness would kind of kick in.
Speaker A:I always knew where my exits were, you name it.
Speaker A:So I paid attention to body language.
Speaker A:Um, very interesting.
Speaker A:In that environment.
Speaker A:You can look at people as a sign of respect, but you don't stare people in the eye, you know, so you learn for different environments.
Speaker A:How do you adapt and change?
Speaker A:But then I became a corporate trainer.
Speaker A:After the corporate trainer, they're like, you know what?
Speaker A:You know the product, you should go into sales.
Speaker A:I'm like, I don't want to go into sales.
Speaker A:That's sleazy.
Speaker A:And they're like, hey, guess what?
Speaker A:You're in sales.
Speaker A:So I got moved into sales and then I just kept winning more business and winning contracts.
Speaker A:And it was a combination of all the skills that I learned.
Speaker A:So I learned statement analysis, I learned copywriting body language.
Speaker A:So when we were answering RFPs, I would go back in.
Speaker A:We had amazing RFP writers or sorry requests for proposals.
Speaker A:Those are government contracts that they come out and they're like, hey, here's the 200 pages of what we want.
Speaker A:So we'd have to read through the entire thing and figure out what's important, put it all in the PowerPoint.
Speaker A:But I would go in and change things that I learned in copywriting classes.
Speaker A:Like, you know, do you have auditory, visual and kinesthetic language in there?
Speaker A:Do you say we?
Speaker A:If you're the incumbent, do you?
Speaker A:You know, because a lot of times they're using a template.
Speaker A:Well, if that person's already my customer and it's a blind evaluation committee, you can put language in there that says, you know, having service your this account for X amount of years.
Speaker A:Oh, well, they're already familiar with this.
Speaker A:You know, putting little things like that into writing is important.
Speaker A:And I just kept getting promoted.
Speaker A:And then the best and worst thing that happened to me was a position opened up for regional vice president of sales.
Speaker A:And so I took the territory of the Midwest and I sold my soul for $50,000.
Speaker A:Because I went from going and visiting customers and loving my job to hating my job on a daily basis because it went from in person, hands on getting able to fix things to eight hours of this right here, which is zoom calls a day.
Speaker A:And I started looking for around that same time I was married and my wife got a 90 day project in Scottsdale, Arizona.
Speaker A:And so we could move to Scottsdale.
Speaker A:Cause it was still my territory.
Speaker A:I used to have to fly everywhere anyway.
Speaker A:But then they said, hey, if this goes well, would you be willing to move every 90 days?
Speaker A:And we had a two year old.
Speaker A:Well, if we moved to east coast or west coast and we did Airbnbs, well, work wouldn't pay for that.
Speaker A:So that's when I started thinking, okay, what else can I do?
Speaker A:And like I told you, I started.
Speaker A:I was miserable.
Speaker A:I'm a nerd in that I've always taken vacation days not to go to Vegas, but to go to seminars and speeches.
Speaker A:And I always love to sit in the audience.
Speaker A:If I showed you my notes, you'd think I'm insane because I would go to a conference and walk away with 12 pages of notes because I'm extremely visual and I'm listening to the speaker.
Speaker A:But if I wasn't writing down on my iPad like the notes that they were saying, I would lose attention, you know, whatever else shiny object was there.
Speaker A:But I started going and, and then I just realized, this is what I want to do.
Speaker A:I want to teach people something.
Speaker A:So when that 90 day trip thing started, I called Mac, my mentor.
Speaker A:I said, Mac, I, you know, I'm quote, unquote successful at work.
Speaker A:I had the title, I had the pay, but I was miserable.
Speaker A:I said I'd love to be able to teach this skill, this, the one that changed my life, to other people.
Speaker A:Can I do this?
Speaker A:And he's like, yeah.
Speaker A:I said, can I do it under my own name?
Speaker A:So his company's called Amazing Face Reading.
Speaker A:But I didn't want to trade under his name.
Speaker A:So I bought Subtle Skills, which, it sounds like a genius term when you hear it.
Speaker A:Then you realize nobody can spell subtle because the S, U, T, T, L, E, you know, all this.
Speaker A:But anyway, and I started going to seminars and things, and I would speak for free.
Speaker A:And why for free?
Speaker A:Because I had a corporate job.
Speaker A:I never wanted to be a conflict of interest, but I left more alive doing things like that than I did anywhere else.
Speaker A:And so I would go, and people may pay for my travel, I may pay for my own.
Speaker A:And I just started speaking and then it picked up.
Speaker A:And the what?
Speaker A:The important thing to do is if you find what you want to do, then you have to get in the rooms to do it.
Speaker A:So I would find seminars, you name it.
Speaker A:Sometimes I'd buy the VIP because you get to hang out with the speakers.
Speaker A:Sometimes I'd buy the cheapest ticket just to get me in the room.
Speaker A:And then.
Speaker A:But that's what energized me.
Speaker A:So I'm not I, I love international travel.
Speaker A:Uh, what I used to do is I'd travel all year for work, save up the hotel points, airline points, and then take my family to Europe from Christmas to New Year's.
Speaker A:So until I got divorced, I hadn't spent New year's in the US in like eight to 10 years because we always just went somewhere, you know, that's time when most industries shut down, I had all the points and miles.
Speaker A:So we went to Germany, Italy, you know, you name it.
Speaker A:But then what Happened is a TikTok I went to, when I mentioned earlier, Steve Simmons was my coach.
Speaker A:And he got me a VIP pass to a big event called Traffic and Conversion.
Speaker A:And that is one of the larger marketing conferences that used to be out there.
Speaker A:And a guy, I sat next to him at an event the day before and he does viral videos.
Speaker A:And I sat at his table.
Speaker A:I'm like, I want to learn how to do this stuff.
Speaker A:He's like, what do you do?
Speaker A:So well, I learned how to decode people's facial features.
Speaker A:He's like, we have to do some interviews.
Speaker A:And so he did street style interviews where he had this, like a microphone like this and go, tell me about this.
Speaker A:And we'd go back and forth and he asked me a series of questions.
Speaker A:And those vi.
Speaker A:Those videos went viral.
Speaker A: And this was in September of: Speaker A:He dropped the videos in November and several of them hit millions of views.
Speaker A:And one of them was like, how much money do you make a month?
Speaker A:And I knew when he asked me live, I'm like, I should not answer this.
Speaker A:And I did.
Speaker A:But when I, when I went on Instagram and TikTok and all these, I never was Brian Galky.
Speaker A:I was subtle skills.
Speaker A:So I didn't worry about it.
Speaker A: But Thanksgiving of: Speaker A:And it was Thanksgiving.
Speaker A:And I remember because I, I opened up the TikTok app and all of a sudden it said, this person liked your video.
Speaker A:This, like, I was like, well, no, no, nobody's supposed to know what I'm doing.
Speaker A:And sure enough, I was fired a week later.
Speaker A:It was for repetitive poor performance.
Speaker A:But I never had a pip in my life, not a single HR thing.
Speaker A:As a matter of fact, I'd gotten congratulated in August by the CEO for winning the state of Nebraska.
Speaker A:So those videos and some internal politics just.
Speaker A:I got fired.
Speaker A:So here's the.
Speaker A:My suggestion to everyone, just like you should have more than one stream of income.
Speaker A:You need to have a hobby or a passion or something because this day and age, I don't care what company you work for, there's not stability like there once was.
Speaker A:And had that been my only identity, I would have been devastated.
Speaker A:But instead I sat down and said I worked for the same company for 21 and a half years.
Speaker A:They fired me so that they didn't have to give me any severance.
Speaker A:They were so shitty they fired me on the last day of the month.
Speaker A:So my insurance ended that same day, which is one of the, one of the HR ladies likes to do.
Speaker A:And I realized, okay, I spent half my life, cause I was 48 at the time, working for someone else.
Speaker A:Why not take a chance on me?
Speaker A:And I cashed out part of my savings and lived off that for a year while I try to get the business going.
Speaker A:And that's kind of how it all started.
Speaker A:And it, you know, you speak for free, paying your own travel, then you speak for free, they pay your travel, then they pay your travel and they'll give you 500 bucks.
Speaker A:Then it becomes a thousand and a thousand to fifteen hundred and then it goes from there.
Speaker A:But it's, you have to just like gym and everything else, you have to put in your reps for the results that you're going to want.
Speaker A:So there's a lot of people who sell speaker training says, oh, you know, come and take this training.
Speaker A:You can charge 25,000 a keynote.
Speaker A:That's not reality.
Speaker A:It's.
Speaker A:Is it possible?
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker A:But the average speaker, I, I saw a statistic one time said the average speaker makes like 47,000 a year.
Speaker A:That's what I made, 37,000 my first year.
Speaker A:I was back to what I made 21 and a half years ago when I started on the help desk.
Speaker A:That was my first year in speaking.
Speaker A:And people say, well, you, you're cashing out your 401k.
Speaker A:Are you crazy?
Speaker A:I personally don't think, number one, where we're going to be able to retire.
Speaker A:Number two, do you know how many people have died with an amazing 401k?
Speaker A:And they were dead inside long before they passed away.
Speaker A:So that was my theory on.
Speaker A:And look, even now there's months that are great.
Speaker A:Like had two speaking gigs this month and then I may not have one for a month or two.
Speaker A:So the problem with being a speaker is you're unemployed the minute you're off stage.
Speaker B:So I mean, it's funny, there's two things that you said that, that kind of resonated.
Speaker B:One, the.
Speaker B:Your first year, you made, you made over $30,000.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:And you kind of, you kind of made that statement as if almost like a little disappointed, like, I only made $30,000.
Speaker B:And see, I kind of look at it very differently, which is, your first year starting your own business, you actually made money.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:Whereas I know a lot of small business owners, or quote unquote, entrepreneurs.
Speaker B:And, and startups are a perfect example of, of companies and people who go freelance and they lose money.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:Year after year before they finally make it.
Speaker B:And so if anything, I would say that's, that's, that's a win to kind of go from being a corporate man for 21 years to suddenly trying to do it all yourself and actually make money at all.
Speaker B:And then the second thing is, though, that kind of goes hand in hand.
Speaker B:You, you talked about, like, a lot of people die with very healthy 401ks, never having had a chance to even use their money.
Speaker B:And I was reading the Subtle Art of Not Giving an F.
Speaker B:Oh, yeah, Great book.
Speaker B:Yeah, great book.
Speaker B:Love it.
Speaker B:I was reading it because my wife is the perfect person for that book, whereas she is so worried about, she gives so many fucks that it drives her crazy.
Speaker B:So I'm reading it with her and he has one quote in it that I just really liked, which is, fear doesn't prevent you from dying, it prevents you from living.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker B:And just what you were saying just, it just popped into my head.
Speaker B:I was like, you know what?
Speaker B:That's, that's it right there.
Speaker A:We're, we're raised with outdated advice.
Speaker A:And what I mean by that is our parents meant well, but they were repeating what their parents told them.
Speaker A:That doesn't apply in this day and age.
Speaker A:So that is go to school, go work for a big company, retired, live off your pension.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:That doesn't exist.
Speaker A:There's very, very few companies that have a pension anymore.
Speaker A:Right now, if you go to work for a company, they will help.
Speaker A:They may help contribute to your 401k as long as you're there, but they don't care how many hours you work.
Speaker A:You know, they don't.
Speaker A:The company I was just at, the one I got fired from, they want.
Speaker A:I had six or seven weeks of vacation time and they took it away from everyone.
Speaker A:They said, okay, you have 75 days to burn all your vacation time, but you can't take any days off because you're in the middle of a project.
Speaker A:And they got rid of it.
Speaker A:And the whole guise Was, well, we're going to go to flex time for everyone, but then they won't let you take off time.
Speaker A:So what's the reason if you go to a company that has flex time in terms of what you can take for vacation, why state that company if somebody walking in the door gets the same amount of time you do?
Speaker A:You know, so in trying to save money, because they never have to, they have to pay you out if you have PTO time.
Speaker A:What they didn't realize is now there's no reason to stay at a company for seniority other than pay.
Speaker A:And as you well know, anybody in business, if I stay at a company, I might get a 5% raise, but if I jump to a competitor, I can get 15 or 20%.
Speaker A:And so that's why there's not a sense of loyalty on either side.
Speaker A:Because companies don't invest in people the way they used to and people don't invest in companies the way that they used to.
Speaker A:And you look at things like AI.
Speaker A:Why am I using AI?
Speaker A:I use opus clips to cut all my videos because now I don't need a videographer to.
Speaker A:Or, sorry, I don't need a video editor anymore.
Speaker A:So the big question everybody needs to be asking themselves is when can AI replace what I do?
Speaker A:Because I need to be a step ahead of that.
Speaker A:If that makes sense.
Speaker B:It does.
Speaker B:So let me ask, in your life now, as a speaker, how are you approaching AI?
Speaker B:So how are you setting yourself up long term for success with the advent of AI and all of its capabilities?
Speaker A:Uh, so ironically, AI is going to help me more than hurt me.
Speaker A:And that's because several reasons.
Speaker A:One, you can go in and now create bots that can answer questions for you 24, 7.
Speaker A:But with all that going in, people skills will be the thing that are going to be in demand because AI can do everything else.
Speaker A:So people who teach communication, soft skills, social skills, eq, emotional intelligence, that's what's going to be needed.
Speaker A:Because.
Speaker A:Because it used to be that knowledge was power and now it's not.
Speaker A:Because knowledge is accessible to everyone.
Speaker A:Now you still want degrees, I want my doctors to not use AI, right?
Speaker A:Engineers, attorneys, things of that nature.
Speaker A:But in reality, if you're not improving your people skills, you will be replaced by automation.
Speaker A:And so what am I doing?
Speaker A:I'm putting my foot down on the gas saying, look, you have to learn to improve your communication skills.
Speaker A:I can help you do that.
Speaker A:And if.
Speaker A: that came out in December of: Speaker B:Not necessarily.
Speaker A:Okay, so I just did a video about this one the other day.
Speaker A: employers in: Speaker A:We're actually going to look for seasons workers.
Speaker A:And the reason why is it was crazy statistics.
Speaker A:Like 53% couldn't make eye contact, 23% refused to turn on their camera for a virtual interview.
Speaker A:So imagine we do the podcast and I'm just like, yeah, no, everything's great.
Speaker A:You know, they, they've hid on a virtual interview and then 19% brought their parents to the interview.
Speaker B:Okay, so I, I didn't know that was an Intelligent.com survey, but I have heard these statistics on Instagram channels making fun of like Gen Alpha and Gen Z stuff.
Speaker A:Yep.
Speaker A:And it's not their fault.
Speaker A:They were given this device.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:And just said, okay, go entertain yourself.
Speaker A:They grew up with caller id.
Speaker A:They grew up with the ability to take and retake pictures over and over again.
Speaker A:Emails, text messages that they could craft and perfect.
Speaker A:We had to wing it.
Speaker A:And I, I'm 50, but I grew up with, you know, landline phone, no caller id.
Speaker A:You know, you just had to pick up the phone, talk to people.
Speaker A:You couldn't order anything online.
Speaker A:You had to actually go to the store and communicate with people.
Speaker A:You had to meet people out in the wild, you know, dating, whatever.
Speaker A:That's just not the world that they grow up in.
Speaker A:They can perfect everything.
Speaker A:And so they did a study that said that the amount of anxiety a younger person has is the same as public speaking because they're not in control and they're worried about what people will think about them when they've grown up able to perfect everything.
Speaker A:If that makes sense.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:And so I have a big question that might be a little bit wider than the scope of what we can cover in this, in this one single podcast episode.
Speaker B:But as business owners then, with the undeniable fact that as we get older, the only people that are going to be more and more available are that generation and the next generations which are going to grow up in more and more tech influenced worlds.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker B:How can we as business owners and hiring managers and bosses and leaders, then help groom those people and also create a, create an environment that is going to be accessible for them, but also then give them the skills they need to function?
Speaker B:Because we can't as a world, unfortunately, I believe, live like that.
Speaker B:Like it's not an answer.
Speaker B:It's a band aid, right?
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:So we'll go a Few different ways.
Speaker A:Let's say you're a parent.
Speaker A:So I have a seven year old now, she has a tablet.
Speaker A:But like when we go to restaurants, she's not allowed to use the tablet unless she's had conversation with us all, she's finished her meal.
Speaker A:And if Kitchener, they always bring out the kids food first and then your second, well, if she's done, but she has to like draw with crayons, do other things first.
Speaker A:If she's legitimately done, she didn't rush through her food and everything, then she can have her tablet.
Speaker A:I personally am not a fan of earpods or earphones because I want to hear what she's doing and what she's listening to.
Speaker A:That's one way.
Speaker A:And I say that because several years ago we had some neighbors down the street, we said, okay, let's go meet this Mexican restaurant.
Speaker A:And we walked in and both our kids tablets down, headphones on, not even looking the entire time at dinner.
Speaker A:And don't get me wrong, sometimes a tablet is a saving grace.
Speaker A:As a parent, you just need them to do something, you know, so I'm not anti tablet and I'm not anti technology, but what if.
Speaker A:Now that's.
Speaker A:As a parent, what do you do now?
Speaker A:As an employer, you need to focus away from CYA type stuff.
Speaker A:And what I mean by that is yes, it's good to document, but stop doing everything by text message, messenger and email.
Speaker A:Like literally still have zoom calls, still have face to face meetings, have conversations that can be documented in follow up with email, but stop making everything over email.
Speaker A:But everybody wants this gotcha mentality of oh, I put that in an email.
Speaker A:You didn't.
Speaker A:But they don't have conversations first.
Speaker A:And the problem with text messages, instant messenger, email is when the person's reading it, you don't know what mood they're in.
Speaker A:And so are they reading it the right way or the wrong way?
Speaker A:So especially if you have to deliver bad news, the worst thing that CEOs and thing and managers can do is do it over email.
Speaker A:And I get it, you have to document with HR and all this kind of stuff.
Speaker A:But conversations take away confusion.
Speaker A:You know, I could send you a text message says have a nice day and if you're in a bad mood, oh well, just wants me to have a nice day, that's great.
Speaker A:And really what I meant was, hey, have a nice day.
Speaker A:But you don't know that.
Speaker A:And so we're always at the mercy of the reader.
Speaker A:If you're doing it electronically, there's a Great.
Speaker A:Was it something in peel?
Speaker A:I forget their names, the comedians.
Speaker A:And there's one who's like, oh, have a good day.
Speaker A:And then they're going back and forth and one guy's like, oh, so he wants to meet later.
Speaker A:And that guy's, what does he mean by this?
Speaker A:You know?
Speaker A:And they're flipping out because the one guy who's reading the text message completely wrong and the other guy's just chilling on the couch, like, yeah, sure.
Speaker A:He's like, you want to go?
Speaker A:And he was saying like, hey, do you want to go to the bar?
Speaker A:And the other guy's, oh, so you want to go?
Speaker A:You know, he's preparing to fight.
Speaker A:So it's a good, it's a funny skit that emphasizes what goes on in our everyday life when it's over.
Speaker A:Electronic media versus in person.
Speaker A:So really, you've got to get in person.
Speaker A:Events, team building, team bonding.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker A:Email can still be used to cya, but it should be used to document the conversations that already took place.
Speaker A:Not that should not be the conversation, if that makes sense.
Speaker B:Oh, yeah, yeah, it makes a lot of sense.
Speaker B:I'm 37, so I grew up on the edge, right where, where I still had to do all of the old school things that just technology came along relatively early on in my life, but after I was already exposed to being an adult.
Speaker B:That's how I like to call it, you know, and it's, I, I, I forget where I heard this.
Speaker B:Maybe was TikTok or Instagram or someone telling me about it, but a story about like a kid and, and, and a parent or it was a, a coworker or a boss and they were texting and like the way the person used, they put like a period at the end of the sentence.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:And the, the younger person freaked out and they're like, oh my God, they're so pissed at me.
Speaker B:I'm stressed out, I can't handle this.
Speaker B:I need a mental break day or something.
Speaker B:And the boss was just like, all I did was use punctuation.
Speaker B:But it's like, but it's kind of like you're saying it's not about what's right or wrong.
Speaker B:It's just, there's so much room for interpretation.
Speaker B:Written form that you, that you just don't have the back and forth of a conversation or like in your specialty, you can't see the person's face, you can't read their expression.
Speaker B:Hey, fuck you with a smile is very different than hey, fuck you with a frown.
Speaker B:But the text like you said the person's going to interpret it based on whatever mood they're in and whatever information they have about the person and their assumptions, not reality.
Speaker B:So that's, that's really powerful.
Speaker B:And let me, let me ask you then, like, what's the, Let me think.
Speaker B:How's a good, an easy way to answer the, the question and a good phrasing?
Speaker B:Like, what's like the most difficult conversation you've had where you've had to like, bring all of your skill and knowledge and experience to bear in order to navigate it?
Speaker A:Oof.
Speaker B:If you don't mind sharing that.
Speaker A:I'm just trying to think.
Speaker A:I'm, I'll, I'll give personal examples and I'll give other ones.
Speaker A:Learning to share shameful things.
Speaker A:It's easier when you're a speaker and you kind of figure out how you're going to do it and how you're going to deliver it.
Speaker A:So for example, what are some shameful things?
Speaker A:And I say shameful like this in my life, getting fired like that.
Speaker A:I didn't tell anybody for a while, but when I realized, when I posted about it, people were like, I, I'm.
Speaker A:Thankfully I'm not alone.
Speaker A:Sharing that I was getting a divorce.
Speaker A:That's another shameful thing.
Speaker A:And so you have to use these skills of how do you deliver it to other people.
Speaker A:Like divorces.
Speaker A:Let's use that one.
Speaker A:You have to explain to people why you're giving up on something in life because it is giving up to a degree and.
Speaker A:But you have to put it in the positive lights of a bad situation.
Speaker A:And so that's a difficult one because you don't know how your parents going to judge you, how's the public going to judge you, you know, things of that nature.
Speaker A:Um, so yeah, asking for divorce was rough.
Speaker A:Telling people about the divorce, sharing being fired.
Speaker A:And then in work settings, we used to have problems all the time and we'd have to go in these rooms where people are ready to kick us out.
Speaker A:There's something known as a cure letter, and that is you have X amount of days to resolve these issues or your contract gets revoked.
Speaker A:I was in so many of those type meetings and you're in there with attorneys and everything else and you have to learn how to talk to the person, let them feel seen and heard while also keeping that contract in place.
Speaker A:And so that takes a variety of those skills because you have to know who's in the room that hates your guts.
Speaker A:That's not saying anything.
Speaker A:That's more body language.
Speaker A:You need statement analysis to hear what's the pain behind their statement versus what they're saying.
Speaker A:So that, that's a tough one.
Speaker A:And then you have to also understand when to stand up and talk about what you're doing.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:And when to fall on the sword.
Speaker A:So those.
Speaker A:I was in a lot of those high stress conversations where they're threatening to kick us out and everything else, and they're yelling and screaming and, you know, you have to sit there and diplomatically bring up that they're part of the problem.
Speaker A:And nobody likes to know that, but that would happen quite a bit.
Speaker A:Like, you know, if there was something that wasn't done right on the customer's end.
Speaker A:Well, they're still your customer.
Speaker A:And everybody thinks the customer's always right, but that's not right.
Speaker A:So you have to politely point out their failure in the process that led to where you are today, if that makes sense.
Speaker B:Yeah, I've been in those situations and not quite so skillfully navigated them.
Speaker B:So, yeah, that resonates.
Speaker A:You have to learn really oddly, kind of like how doctors can do surgery because they disassociate from the patient.
Speaker A:You have to disassociate from the problem and look at it from a balcony view.
Speaker A:And sometimes you do have to fall on the sword because you screwed up, but you also have to be able to sit up there and go, okay, where is this right?
Speaker A:Where is this wrong?
Speaker A:And how do we meet in the middle?
Speaker A:And I will tell you, reading Chris Voss's book.
Speaker A:There's another book here called Convince Me so.
Speaker A:It's by another former FBI hostage negotiator and a PR crisis consultant.
Speaker A:It's a really good book where you learn how to address those tension moments in good ways.
Speaker A:You know, and the big thing is we get so right about, oh, I'm right, let me beat my chest.
Speaker A:But truly, it says in every hostage negotiation book that you read, the first thing before they ever talk to the person is they think, what do they want?
Speaker A:Were they scared of?
Speaker A:What was the outcome they were searching for?
Speaker A:You really, truly have to think about it from the other person's point of view.
Speaker A:And that used to drive me nuts.
Speaker A:I.
Speaker A:When I was in corporate America, there were people who want to get in and go, well, we're right, because this, this, and this, and we weren't.
Speaker A:But people want to justify why they're right far too often instead of think, where am I wrong?
Speaker A:And what's the other person's point of view?
Speaker A:If you can learn that skill, you can accomplish A great deal of things in life because everything in this world is available, but we need other people to help us achieve it.
Speaker A:So if you can think.
Speaker A:And this is what I love about faces.
Speaker A:When I'm making the presentation about the person and not pitching my product, it's different.
Speaker A:We love conversations.
Speaker A:We don't like to be talked to.
Speaker B:Kind of goes along with the concept of people love to buy, they just don't love to be sold.
Speaker A:Exactly.
Speaker B:So I know we're running out of time, but how would you, let's say, apply that then to a conversation like giving, talking to them or I'll very self centeredly use my own industry that as an example and an opportunity to learn more.
Speaker B:So we're in fitness.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:So a lot of our consultations is learning about what their, their struggles are.
Speaker B:We work with men that are trying to lose weight.
Speaker B:Typically it's not really just about the weight.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:How would you apply this concept?
Speaker B:Going into a conversation with a man who's reached out for fitness but doesn't want to be sold?
Speaker A:Sure.
Speaker B:No one wants to cold.
Speaker B:They're fat.
Speaker A:Well, let's use you as an example.
Speaker A:I want to see something real fast.
Speaker A:Um, okay.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:You got that?
Speaker A:I can share.
Speaker A:Okay, so give me one second.
Speaker A:I'm going to have you, come on, go away for a minute.
Speaker A:Allow.
Speaker A:I'm going to have you look just straight at the camera and we're going to use your face as an example.
Speaker A:So let me go screenshot.
Speaker B:All right, so I'll stare very, very directly.
Speaker A:You're good.
Speaker A:Well, here I got one of you smiling.
Speaker A:Let me do another one.
Speaker A:All right, so just stare right at the camera.
Speaker A:Got it.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:We're going to have some fun with you because this is where it gets to be good.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:So you can see the picture we got of you here.
Speaker B:Yep.
Speaker A:Okay, so several things that I'm going to show you.
Speaker A:The first is you definitely have larger ears than you have eyes.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:So larger ear people are auditory versus visual.
Speaker A:So what if I'm talking to you?
Speaker A:I would use auditory phrases.
Speaker A:Like it sounds like from what I'm hearing, I would use auditory words.
Speaker A:So if you came in and you, and you said, you know, I, I just don't, I'm not feeling like myself.
Speaker A:I, I want to be in better shape, then what I would say is, okay, oh, it sounds like, or what I hear you saying because it's an auditory person.
Speaker A:So when there's larger ears versus eyes, they're auditory.
Speaker A:If it was the opposite and they had larger eyes and smaller ears.
Speaker A:I'd say, oh, I see where you're coming from.
Speaker A:Oh, I get the picture.
Speaker A:So I'm using the, the phrases of the person I'm talking to now for you, we'll change this up just a little bit.
Speaker A:Okay, so if we go here, eyes angle down just a little bit.
Speaker A:So instead of telling you all the positives, I'm going to address the negatives.
Speaker A:Because you're worried about the downside of things.
Speaker A:And that's based on eye angle right here, how it changes.
Speaker A:So when somebody's eyes angled down, it's more so on personal side, but you angles down a little bit here too.
Speaker A:Then I talk about what are the downsides of if they don't have a change in their physical side, if that makes sense.
Speaker A:So when I'm looking at people, all those things I look at.
Speaker A:So I know right here I don't have to worry about walking on eggshells.
Speaker A:Cause if you have, you have a good strong chin, I know once you make up your mind, you're going to latch in like a pit bull.
Speaker A:So I've got one shot to sell you.
Speaker A:Because once you make up your mind, you latch in right here and you don't unlatch very easily.
Speaker A:So when I'm talking to you, I'm going to talk about auditory things.
Speaker A:I'm gonna say, you know, from what I hear, it sounds like I'm gonna address the potential downsides of if they don't take the fitness journey, versus telling them, oh, well, you wanna look good naked.
Speaker A:You want six packs.
Speaker A:Like, there are people that if their eyes angle up like this, then you have to talk about the upside of it.
Speaker A:Oh, man.
Speaker A:Once you're in shape, you know, it's just.
Speaker A:You'll feel so much better.
Speaker A:All these things are going on.
Speaker A:When somebody's eyes are even, like here, then you talk about both pros and cons.
Speaker A:If they angle down, you talk about the downside of things.
Speaker A:That's one way to do it.
Speaker A:But you don't always know.
Speaker A:Let's talk about how you're marketing your product.
Speaker A:Well, if you're marketing your product, you don't know, are they auditory, are they visual, or are they kinesthetic?
Speaker A:So you need to be using all those languages.
Speaker A:So, you know, you'd say auditory terms, you'd say visual terms.
Speaker A:And then you have movement or action terms.
Speaker A:When you're talking to people, if it's somebody that this area right here is really wide.
Speaker A:That's a kinesthetic.
Speaker A:Hands on, learner I would hand them a brochure.
Speaker A:I would give them something to hold.
Speaker A:If I was saying them a contract.
Speaker A:I'm like, hey, I know we're going to look at this on a computer, but can you print it out a copy, you know, and kind of hold so we can go over it and you can make notes?
Speaker A:That's for a kinesthetic person.
Speaker A:So there's all these ways that you can change things.
Speaker A:Now, if you want to get into how a lot of industries do it, it's funny.
Speaker A:So they'll always offer three options of what you can do.
Speaker A:And if they're talking to somebody in person, what they do is they lay the pen down by the option they want them to select.
Speaker A:So let's say you have a contract and there's three types of fitness.
Speaker A:They'll put a pen pointing at the one that they want them to do.
Speaker A:There's all kinds of psychology that goes into gym sales and things of that nature.
Speaker A:But really that's a script that people are trying to do that you can have success with, but you'll have greater success if you personalize it for the person versus just show up and pitch.
Speaker A:Does that make sense?
Speaker B:Yeah, that, that's really interesting, actually.
Speaker B:And, and I would say you're, you're, you're very spot on about my personality as well.
Speaker B:I'm.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:And that's what your face says.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:That's cool.
Speaker B:Well, again, I love all.
Speaker B:You've shared a lot of insight, not only into communication, but business as well.
Speaker B:I really appreciate just you joining us today, Brian.
Speaker B:I'd also love just to kind of wrap up as we come to the end.
Speaker B:You do obviously a lot of things within the realm of speaking.
Speaker B:Can you share a little bit more about your services?
Speaker B:Who particularly are going to benefit best from them and how can they get in touch with you?
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:So like I said, I'm more of a tactical speaker than a motivational speaker.
Speaker A:When I walk in, I want to teach people tactical skills they can walk out the door with.
Speaker A:Where does it always start?
Speaker A:I get hired to talk to business owners and sales teams.
Speaker A:Why?
Speaker A:Because every company has a budget for sales.
Speaker A:But when you really get into it, it's about people.
Speaker A:So we get in, I'll do sales.
Speaker A:And they're like, wait, can you come teach our customer service, our team building, our team bonding, our leadership?
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker A:So that's where I end up, is I have to get a foot in the door and then people realize what you can do.
Speaker A:So those are the things I love to speak on.
Speaker A:So for example, I just spoke at a corporation last month and it was 90 minutes.
Speaker A:And it was a combination of decoding faces, body language and statement analysis, because those are the three things that they need.
Speaker A:Um, then I have courses so people can learn it on their own.
Speaker A:Probably the most interesting one, and this is where I actually met Chris Voss, is we teach it for door to door salespeople.
Speaker A:Why they have seven seconds before somebody slams the door shut, pulls a gun or calls the cops.
Speaker A:And so that's an interesting group because they go out and test it and give feedback.
Speaker A:Um, so yeah, so I speak at events.
Speaker A:What do I love speaking.
Speaker A:When I was On a date 15 years ago, somebody said, what do you want to do with the rest of your life?
Speaker A:And said, I want to get paid to travel the world and teach people something.
Speaker A:And I'm getting to do that.
Speaker A:Am I where I want to be yet?
Speaker A:No.
Speaker A:Am I getting there?
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker A:But I do have online courses, one on one coaching, and it's just a combination.
Speaker A:And the reason why the one on one is there is because every person's need is different and how fast they learn.
Speaker A:But then I have group training that people can join where I just talk about a feature that month, you know, or that week every month and we just cover a feature and help people grow.
Speaker A:Um, every book that I think people can learn from is available on my website.
Speaker A:So it is subtleskills.
Speaker A:Com.
Speaker A:But as I mentioned to you earlier, nobody can spell subtle.
Speaker A:So for your audience that's listening, just go to decodetheface.
Speaker A:Com.
Speaker A:That will get you there also.
Speaker A:And then I love to talk to people, so it can be associations.
Speaker A:I've spoken to rooms that are four people and I've spoken in front of a thousand people.
Speaker A:So it's just wanting to share the gift that changed my life that can change so many more people's lives.
Speaker A:Especially as we go into the AI age where if you're not working on your, your people skills, your social skills, your soft skills, you will be replaced by automation in one form or fashion.
Speaker A:So that's it.
Speaker B:Well, once again, thanks for joining guys.
Speaker B:Anyone listening?
Speaker A:If you're interested, we'll have all the.
Speaker B:Links down in the notes, so feel free to reach out to Brian and learn more.
